You know that phenomenon where you never hear a word at all for most of your life, and then suddenly notice that it’s just…everywhere? That’s what’s happening with demure right now: The term has taken over TikTok thanks to the efforts of creator Jools Lebron (known on the app as @joolieannie).

If you, like me, are over 30 and in desperate need of help when it comes to the ever-evolving TikTok lexicon, look no further; below, find everything you need to know about the rise of “demure fall.”

Where did the term demure come from?

 

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From the brilliant mind of Lebron, basically. In a TikTok titled “How to be demure and modest and respectful at the work place,” the influencer explains the concept thusly: “You see how I do my makeup for work? Very demure. Very mindful. I don’t come to work with a green-cut crease. I don’t look like a clown when I go to work. I don’t do too much. I’m very mindful while I’m at work. You see how I look very presentable? The way I came to the interview is the way I go to the job. A lot of you girls go to the interview looking like Marge Simpson and go to the job looking like Patty and Selma. Not demure. I’m very modest. I’m very mindful.” (I, personally, cannot relate to the concept of notdressing like a clown for work, but I salute the effort.)

How did the phrase blow up?

Like brat girl summer before it, the “demure” phenomenon took on new life once it migrated from TikTok to X and Instagram Reels. The phrase has since entrenched itself firmly in the extremely online lexicon over the last few days, and isn’t showing any signs of going away.

What do we know about Lebron?

The woman responsible for sparking the “demure” craze is a trans influencer who’s known on TikTok for her makeup tutorials and epic Bratz and American Girl Doll collections. Lebron has mentioned taking inspiration from “demure divas who have come before” her, such as Paris Is Burning star Venus Xtravaganza.

She also shared, in a TikTok posted on August 14, that the visibility from her viral “demure“ videos had meaningfully changed her life. “One day I was playing cashier and making videos on my break,” Lebron said, “and now I’m flying cross-country to host events and I’m going to be able to finance the rest of my transition.”

Why is this phrase resonating?

It’s hard not to see the rise of demure as a kind of reaction to the wild, wanton connotations of Charli XCX’s bratcore. (Remember the cigarette bouquet Rosalía brought Charli for her birthday? Now that was brat, but also…kind of demure.) The phrase is always delivered with a tongue-in-cheek edge, as when Lebron instructs her followers on “how to be demure at the drag show,”but I do think there’s something funny about plastering a layer of imagined elegance over our brattiest, most neon-green-hued social media choices. (In fact, could Demure Girl Summer be rooted in girlcore? You have to admit, adorning yourself with bows is one of the most demure things a girl can do. Very mindful.)

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Lead image: @joolieannie via Instagram