Emotions are not taught in school. Love certainly isn’t. These are learnt through life experiences, where we figure out how to feel and how to act by navigating through the world. Yet, being expressive and “emotional” is often seen as negative and taboo, causing many to quietly push down their emotions. Despite this artist’s widespread fame and millions of doting fans, Keung To deals with his emotions just like the rest of us.
In 2020, Keung To presented his way of dealing with negative thoughts in his song, “Lonely Sickness”. Three years later, when he feels caged by his thoughts, he still “doesn’t see anyone, ignores people and hides his feelings”. Keung To shares, “sometimes when I’m struck with negative emotions, it can get really difficult. It has definitely been a learning curve for me. I’m used to solving problems on my own because I need to be alone to think. I also don’t want people to see my vulnerable side. My music is a way to let people know what I’ve learnt and how I’m feeling. For example, last year’s song “Spiegel im Spiegel” [“Mirror in the Mirror”] was about how I live with all the negative comments and the demons within.”
Keung To admits that following his own advice is easier said than done, and that he’s still learning. Only now that he’s reflecting on his lyrics, has he arrived at a different conclusion: “The past year has made me realise that you can coexist with these different voices, but you have to know how to filter it, because we can only give so much of ourselves. If you were to listen to every voice out there, you would simply crumble.” This kind of filtering comes from introspection, understanding yourself and getting to know your strengths and weaknesses. “In the past, I would listen to every opinion out there and try to change people’s minds. I still listen to both good and bad opinions, but now I can distinguish what is useful.” There are always going to be a thousand voices and suggestions from everyone around you, whether it’s genuine, sound advice or not. In the end, the only way out is to follow your instincts and decide what makes the most sense for you.
From the beginning till now, I have never regretted anything I've done on stage. For me it's a direct record of what I was thinking at the time. The stage also allows me to communicate my true emotions and state of being with people. If you're faking it, the audience will see right through you. So, regardless of if my performance was good or bad, I don't have any regrets. The magic of the stage allows me to express my emotions and interact with my fans. That's what makes it so much fun.
Keung To
Since debuting as a member of Mirror in 2018, Keung To has been placed under the magnifying glass of the public eye, continuously persisting amid towering mountains of both praise and criticism. Among the thousands of echoing thoughts and opinions are obstacles that slow Keung To down, but also the comments that give him strength to keep going till the end. In one of his Instagram posts, he wrote, “Persistence is more terrifying than hard work.” Keung To said he didn’t quite get the meaning of this phrase before he started his career, but it now resonates with him deeply. “There have been countless moments where I wanted to give up [over the years]. Sometimes, even if you work hard, people will still think you haven’t progressed, and will label you accordingly. When you insist on going in the direction you think is right, that’s what’s scarier than hard work. Sticking it out through the tough times is far more scary than simply working hard at what you do.” Often, the loser is not knocked down by challenges, but by simply not persevering to the end, just because they can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So, what kept Keung To going? After pondering for a while, he replied, “Maybe it’s the belief that ‘I can do it’, that I’ve had since I was a kid. I refuse to admit defeat and I don’t want people to think less of me, so I don’t give up easily. But I am very grateful to those who have criticised me, whether with a kind heart or malicious intent. Their voices are precious to me because their comments have helped me improve.” Keung To pauses before emphasising, “In the past five years, apart from my family, myself and my fans, I would also like to thank those who hated me because they were also the nourishment for my growth. If I only had supporters in my life, I would have stayed at a certain stage and would not have explored new possibilities… I want to prove it to them. Although they may not support me in the end, it’s part of what motivates me to do better,” he says.
Keung To smiles, saying that his resilience has grown and his heart has strengthened to face whatever the future holds. Drawing on his own periods of struggle, he offers words of encouragement to friends struggling through any difficulty in life. “Be prepared for the worst and assume that no one in this world understands you. Don’t think negatively, but believe that you are the only one who can help yourself. Believe in your own strength.” Keung To knows that individuality comes with a price; everyone’s uniqueness means that there’s not one person who understands you better than yourself. “If you want to continue walking along life’s path, please believe in your own ability to stand tall and strong.”
Keung To has faced no shortage of commentary regarding his stage performances over the years, yet his passion for the stage and performing remains unfazed. If anything, he reckons that standing on stage is what brings him the most joy. “From the beginning till now, I have never regretted anything I’ve done on stage. For me it’s a direct record of what I was thinking at the time. The stage also allows me to communicate my true emotions and state of being with people. If you’re faking it, the audience will see right through you. So, regardless of if my performance was good or bad, I don’t have any regrets. The magic of the stage allows me to express my emotions and interact with my fans. That’s what makes it so much fun.”
When asked to look into the year ahead, Keung To maintained a steadfast devotion to his craft. “I’m already filled with new ideas for my work, and I hope that in the future I can truly realise them as I’d envisioned. I actually don’t really have any big aspirations, I just want to take things one step at a time and hope to improve my singing, dancing and performing!”
At the time of writing, Keung To’s highly anticipated solo single, “The Irregulars” had just been released. A song that captures the essence of waiting for “The One” to come along, the lyrics read: “Irregular me, and irregular you, stretching across the world, seeking our match within the crowd and embracing [each other’s] sharp edges.” The artist sings of the scars we all carry, how life leaves us with flaws that can hurt those we love most. And while there are those whose roughened edges we cannot accept, he urges “we don’t have to love them but we don’t have to hurt them.”
Though Keung To sings of a story between two lovers, one can take it as a message of self-acceptance. Everyone longs to be loved and to be seen, but as we embark on a new chapter this year, let’s make it our mission to find that love within ourselves.
Photography: Leung Mo
Creative & Fashion Direction: Jacky Tam
Makeup Artist: Rainbow Chung
Hair Stylist: Lydia Yung
Fashion Assistant: Priscilla Ng
Interview and Text: Peggy Choi
Editor
Peggy Choi
